The Fail Four
The Fail Four is the name given to the four users generally considered to be the most FAIL in KOT history. The exact membership of the Fail Four is up for debate, although the most widely accepted line-up is Forbesanton, Fabian, Commandant, and Cam. Each member roughly represented a chapter in KOT history, providing many memes, notable historical moments, and general lulz to the forum. Forbes Forbesanton is the first and most notable member of the Fail Four. As the first truly FAIL user that KOT had to contend with, he represented a milestone for the forum and accordingly provided the budding community with many of its in-jokes and popular memes. Forbesanton, referred henceforth as simply Forbes, began his "trolling" career on the IMDb Spider-Man 3 board, where he made a thread claiming that the entire Spider-Man 3 film had been leaked on to Limewire for download. At the time, this wasn't considered a particularly noteworthy trolling attempt and the "Spider-Man 3" was very quickly revealed to be "Resident Evil: Apocalypse" posted up under a fake name, but Forbes was ridiculously proud of this thread anyway and started boasting incessantly of his status as the "Limewire troll", which was arguably more annoying than the actual Limewire thread. An unknown amount of time later, he sabotaged user dtrotta's attempt to create a "Presidential Cabinet" on SM3 by forming his own "Dark Cabinet", beginning a long time feud that would carry over into KOT. About a month before the TKPS collapse, he repeatedly asked to be accepted into the group. Most TKPS members were strongly against this, but a few felt that he would be a valuable addition, which led to a small schism. While he was never granted the TKPS membership that he so desired, he WAS given the next best thing: The URL to the new "Kingdom of Trolls" forum that was steadily seeing more activity than the TKPS home forum. And so began his saga of FAIL. As the initial membership of KOT consisted mostly of ex-TKPS trolls who were more than familiar with his posturing ways, Forbes did not get off on a good start at all. He repeatedly sabotaged his own attempts at making a good impression by picking random fights, harrassing new posters, and generally acting like a drunk, dyslexic moron. The culmination of this early FAIL came when he decided to write his own fanfiction to Mercuzo's "Kingdom of Trolls" TV series. This rather poorly written story, which was absolutely riddled with basic grammatical mistakes, over-the-top, unbelievable dialogue, senseless profanity, and hamfisted descriptions, made a very strong impact on KOT's collective psyche and cemented Forbes's status as the forum buttmonkey forever. Undaunted by the horrendous reviews, Forbes continued to churn out awful script after awful script, his writing skills showing seemingly no signs of improvement. For his galling behavior, the moderators banned him more than a few times, but he found his way back seemingly every single time. Forbes was banned many times during his stay on KOT, but found his way back seemingly every single time. He was finally banned permanently after he ran afoul Pope, a new recruit from "The Dark Knight" board who verbally abused him savagely, much to KOT's collective satisfaction. He periodically returned with one harebrained scheme after another, fashioning himself a master hacker and threatening to "DDOS" the KOT site and "leak" personal information of Kotters to malicious websites unless his "demands" were met. He was later found begging for hacking lessons on professional programming forums. Fabian Fabian, also known as E-Fab or fabianev, was the second FAIL user in KOT history. Fabian joined the board in its early days, when Mercuzo launched an all-out advertising campaign on "The Dark Knight". He latched on to the site and immediately made an impression with his sexually perverse behavior towards Cacophony, who was the only female poster on the site at the time, often awkwardly solictating for sex favors. Fabian hated Forbes quite a bit, and the two often got into fights. He also fashioned himself a rapper, much like Forbes, and penned many badly written "freestyle raps" on the site to insult Forbes, especially after his defeat at the hands of Pope. A turning point for Fabian was the now-infamous "banning incident". As the winner of a forum treasure hunting contest organized by Mercuzo, Fabian was given unrestricted access to the admin CP for a day. He immediately took advantage of this power by banning every single poster before being stopped by Punk, the root admin. Fabian claimed that he was manipulated and terrorized into doing it by Error, leading to the sarcastic meme "It was Error". Naturally, the story didn't check out with many users and Fabian was further ostracized. After many failfights, Fabian made a solemn post called "Farewell, not a suicide note" in which he declared his departure from the forum while spouting bizarre, nonsensical fortune cookie quotes. Like Cam, Fabian has been MIA for quite some time and the chances of him returning to FWNN is unlikely at best. Commandant The Commandant has the longest tenure with KOT of anyone else on the Fail Four, chronologically, yet his saga of FAIL didn't begin until well into his time on the forum. The Commandant, henceforth referred to as Comm, started out as "Dont_Kick_The_Commandant", an IMDb SM3 poster who posed as a regular initially before revealing himself to be a troll, spamming "AUNT MAY DIES AND DATES RAY CHARLES IN HEAVEN" all over the board. This sudden "betrayal" came as a tremendous shock, as Commandant was a faithful, normal poster until then and also because he declared his allegiance to the Troll Kingpin, a relative newcomer that most posters regarded as a minor nuisance and nothing more. During this time, he also displayed a bizarre obsession with an activity he referred to as "Commandantism" as in "I'm gonna do a little bit of Commandantism on you". What exactly "Commandantism" was, was never explained though Mercuzo wrote it into his KOT Movie as a type of torture method. He also curried some favor in the SM3 community in the middle of the Troll War by creating "The Diary of Eddie Brock", a comedy fanfiction that followed the misadventures of Eddie Brock as he struggled to keep his symbiote under control. After the SM3 Era of the Troll War was over, the Commandant became largely absent from most major trolling activities. He was entirely missing from the TKPS's assault on the POTC 3 board and many members of the so-called "New TKPS" didn't even realize that he existed, believing him to be a fictional character created solely for the TV series. He came back into the fold of KOT much later when the KOT Forum started gaining traction. He was found smurfing on IMDb by one of the regs and invited into the site. Not long after he began posting, PresidentJuggernaut began to complain of his behavior on the "The Dark Knight" board on IMDb, where he began spamming under the alias "DumbassDeer". Despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary, Comm repeatedly denied being DumbassDeer, causing public opinion to slowly turn against him. The combination of stress from this and existing emotional issues caused him to break down. Claiming that KOT was becoming an "addiction" that was destroying his life, Comm asked to be banned so that he could never return. The request was turned down, partly because he claimed that he'd be able to leave forever with or without being banned anyway, but he found departure rather difficult, often returning only days after declaring that he was "leaving forever". This caused him to lose what little credibility he had left and become a public laughing stock, causing him to create the now-infamous "MERCUZO" thread where he pathetically begged, repeatedly, to be banned, making multiple replies screaming nothing but the words "BAAAAAAN MEEEEEE!!!!! OH GOD PLEASE BAAAAAN MEEEEEE!!!". Around this time, he also recorded a video of himself crying and begging to be banned from KOT. Dapper eventually put him out of his misery. The saga didn't end there, however, as being banned apparently failed to rid Comm of his "addiction" to KOT. Wanting to come back to the site, he took to harrassing Kotters over YouTube PMs, shamelessly trying to guilt trip and nostalgia trip the admins into letting him come back. That failing, he then started spamming "PLEASE LET ME IN" threads on IMDb boards that Kotters frequented, painting the KOT admins and mods to be evil demons trying to make his life miserable by banning him even though he himself personally requested the ban. Mercuzo finally broke down and decided to do an "old buddy" a favor by reinstating him. Less than an hour after returning, Comm fell back to his old, annoying ways, necroposting dead threads, spamming with pointless, one word replies like "cool" and "okay", and most gallingly, accusing every female poster of secretely being men. He was, once again, banned, and began to, once again, spam IMDb with "OH MY GOD PLEASE LET ME BACK IN" threads. He turned into such a pathetic mess that Pope once convinced everyone on KOT to help him fool Comm into thinking that a "war" had broken out in KOT over his banning. About a year after his last banning, Comm was admitted back into KOT where he became just another boring cunt. He did, however, provide temporary amusement by posting drunk and admitting his undying love for Josefin in the most embarrassing ways imaginable. He later decided that he wanted to be "banned" again and decided to seal the deal by making a retarded spam post where he spewed all sorts of nasty abuse at the KOT girls. This was the last KOT saw of him until the Extinction. Cam Cam is the second longest KOT tenure of the Fail Four, matched only by Comm. He started out on IMDb as "TheAmazingSpidey", a regular poster who was particularly gung-ho about the troll invasion, actively baiting trolls and getting into flame wars with random TKPS members underneath his Internet Tough Guy facade. Despite being one fiery declaration away from being a full-on anti-troll, Cam won the favor of his fellow regs anyway by not being a troll. When he first arrived on KOT, no one had an active problem with him and even PresidentJuggernaut, who would later become his arch-tormentor, described him as an "old friend". On IMDb, the constant activity caused by the Troll War was far too hectic for each member's personality to really shine through. On the much slower and more intimate KOT, however, one would no longer be able to simply drown out parts of his personality in seas of spam, and this new atmosphere was definitely not kind to Cammy. Over time, as the tone of the board started becoming more mature, many users began noticing that Cam was a particularly immature and whiny user. He was tremendously anal about the rep system and made a gigantic scene every time ANYONE gave him a negative rep, making thoroughly sure to revenge de-rep every single time. He was also very good at making embarrassing posts that inadvertently insulted himself in a flame war, which gave rise to an early meme about Cam's "self pwnings". Frustrated by his old status as a beloved reg slowly corroding, Cam decided to "reveal" to KOT that he was, in fact, a 30 year old ex-Marine serviceman with a sexy, gorgeous girlfriend name Autumn, and definitely not someone to be trifled with. This story checked out fine with KOT and went unchallenged for months until Cam made the mistake of a lifetime: He decided to create a fake alt account so he could pretend to be his own girlfriend. Almost immediately after Autumn's arrival, jokes followed, waves after waves, with users accusing her of being a blow-up doll at every turn. Cam reacted with indignant rage, demanding that every user pay nothing but utter respect to his woman or face his wrath. This attracted minor controversy, mostly with Legend, who refused to buy Cam's charade. Eventually, after months of teasing jokes, Cam was forced to admit the truth: That he was, in fact, a 15 year old, lonely loser in high school who took the ROTC class in school in lieu of Marine training. He would not, however, admit that Autumn was a total fake and claimed that there WAS a real girl behind the account, just not his girlfriend. This story is extremely doubtful, however, as both accounts checked under the same IP and Autumn posted far too often to not be either Cam or someone living under Cam's roof. Cam was also found later to have used his moderator powers (Yes, he was, once upon a time, a mod. Punk used to be terrible at picking mods.) to delete 27 threads regarding Autumn that embarrassed him. He was stripped of his mod powers and made the forum's official bitch for this, but had the nerves to later BEG for his mod powers back anyway. The saga of FAIL had only begun. Cam was seemingly UNABLE to resist a flamebait and insisted on getting into lame failfights everytime someone did so much as MENTION the word "Autumn". He was also found to be much more perverse than anyone had anticipated, claiming that he enjoyed spying on girls at his school during rainy days while their shits got wet and making awkward sexual passes at Jo. Despite the overwhelming amount of abuse he recieved on KOT on a daily basis, he steadfastly refused to leave and only left on his own accord when Legend and PresidentJuggernaut, arguably his two greatest tormentors, ceased to post regularly, cementing his image as a psychological masochist. Shortly after he admitted to the Autumn charade, Cam claimed to have a real life girlfriend named "Sarah". The picture he posted of this girl, however, was clearly of a woman at least 6 years older than him and was far too small for anyone to verify the authenticity of. About a week after he revealed "Sarah"'s existence, he claimed that she moved away, thus absolving him of any need to answer further questions about her. Sarah is likely as fictional as the Kingdom of Trolls itself. Today, Cam spends most of his online time smurfing on the IMDb board for "The Amazing Spider-Man", a new Spider-Man cinematic reboot film. He was invited back to FWNN by Commandant, but refused to return, citing that he no longer had the time to post regularly. The Fail Four Controversy There is some controversy among Kotters as to who the Fail Four actually are. The first line-up of the Fail Four was defined as Forbes, Fabian, Comm, and Meg, in the days before Cam was revealed to be a fake Marine, but after Cam began his reign of FAIL, many Kotters questioned the wisdom of Meg's inclusion, as Meg had never even made an account on KOT ("KOT? oh no i do not associate with such dumkopps as yourselves"). The most popular line-up is now held to replace Meg with Cam. Some have called for the Fail Four to be replaced with the Fail Five, including both Meg AND Cam, while others have called for Cam to replace Comm instead. The user who first created the concept of the Fail Four is also unknown.